Ihsan & Haters: How To Cope
Imam al-Sharani wrote a two volume book detailing Allah’s blessings on him. One he mentioned: His mercy for his detractors when the detractor is tested, is important.
He writes, “Among the blessings that Allah, the Exalted, has bestowed upon me is my mercy for my detractor and my concern for his well-being when he is afflicted by a calamity. This is because I know that his situation cannot be without one of two possibilities:
- His enmity towards me is justified, in which case my resentment towards him is foolishness and a flaw in my character.
- His enmity is unjustified, in which case he is a weak soul tested in his religion.
Thus, it is incumbent upon me to forgive him, have mercy on him, and pray for him—not to be angry with him and pray against him, further increasing his burden.
I heard my teacher, Ali Al-Khawwas, may Allah have mercy on him, say: “The state of a sincere persom does not reach excellence until all of his actions and moments of stillness are counted among his good deeds, so that nothing is left that diminishes his reward.”
An incident occurred in which Iskandar, the governor of Gharbia, complained to me about a judge. Three days later, that judge died, and, the governor came to me, distressed about the deceased. I asked, “Why are you sad for him, when just yesterday, you were complaining about him?” He responded, “How could I be troubled by him when he has neither control nor influence over the situation?” I was impressed by the strength of his certainty.
It has been narrated from Abu Al-Qasim Al-Junaid, may Allah be pleased with him, that he used to say:
“If someone were to sit to my right, speak to me with the most pleasant words, burn incense of musk and amber before me, and feed me the most delicious foods and drinks, and another were to sit to my left, doing the opposite—burning me with fiery pincers—it would neither increase my regard for the one on my right nor diminish my regard for the one on my left, because I witness both states as being from Allah, the Almighty.”
This station can only be attained by one whose initial perception of everything that happens to him is that it comes from Allah, before witnessing it from the creation. When that realization occurs, he no longer turns towards the creation. Everything that Allah wills to come through them, in terms of harm, is ultimately an action of Allah, not an action of the creation.
Thus, whether a person loves me or hates me, whether willingly or unwillingly, it must happen according to the will of Allah. It is folly for a person to seek love from all of creation, for no one, not even the greatest of the righteous, has been granted that, let alone the common people.
It is also important for you to know, my brother, that no matter how much a person excels in knowledge and righteousness, as in the case of our master Abu Bakr Al-Siddiq, may Allah be pleased with him, he will still have those who love him and those who hate him—whether he likes it or not. It is ignorant for someone to seek that all people love him, for that has never been possible for anyone, not even the greatest of people, let alone those of lesser rank.
There was once a person who hated Imam Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, and would speak ill of him. One day, they were both in a gathering, and the man began praising Imam Ali. When he finished, the Imam said to him: “I am above what is in your heart and below what you say.”
Qasim narrated that when Imam Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, went into hiding during the time of persecution, he inquired: “Do you hear what people are saying about me?” He was told:
“Those who love you only speak well of you, and those who hate you… well, that has always been the case with people; they either love or hate.”
Imam Malik replied: “This is true, but we seek refuge in Allah from a time when all tongues unite in slander.”